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Thursday, October 19, 2017
Rugby

Dr. Allister Seuss – The Coach who was building towards the unknown

Dr. Allister Seuss
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After the unspeakable happened in New Zealand, those less confident are quickly changing their tune. As far as wagers go, Betway is running largely in favour of Australia ahead of their clash with the Springboks this weekend, with a  +5.5 spread for the Wallabies.

Odds do differ around the web, but these are quality reviews if you’re going to try to shop around a bit. Expect to see Australia favoured often, here’s what the experts are saying: “The teams played to a 23-23 tie in September, but the Boks have lost seven of their last nine tests in Australia and, while the Wallabies have not won any of their last three matches, two of those losses came against the same New Zealand side that just demolished South Africa. If Israel Folau can overwhelm the Springbok back three (and it’s likely he can) while the tight five hold their own, the Wallabies will score an important win.

To illustrate the situation the Springboks find themselves in, our very own @Justus_Beets looked to his inner-poet to express his feelings toward Allister Coetzee and his way forward with the Springboks.


In the land of Africa South, the grassy patch warriors were lost in time
Trying to unlock the secrets of 2017 with almanacs from 2007 and 2009
A hero was needed, who would lead the would-be masses
Things were not the same since a nation from the east had handed them their asses

A tale as old as time, if time were aged only two
A coach that wasn’t the worst was doing the worst job that he could do
He assembled the fastest men, yes, the fastest men indeed
He told them standing still, would be where he required their talents most, yes, fast statues will feed his need

An empty hole he spotted outside of centre
Eight shoulders shrugged and four heads looked to and from
His helpers it seems, were also pretty fokken dom

At the news all the hands were high, men from the shirt thirteen
No no no! Who said numbers should be in that order or just one of each?” Toetie asked with a rumble
A Fifteen, that is surely the highest ranked thirteen!” He started to mumble

His helpers look liked they had nodded and so agreed
But their heads were nodding ‘coz they were finger-fishing the KFC from their teeth

The incomplete team was finally complete, all the
the wheels were different, crooked and the machine was green,
the front too low, the sides too high
It was powered by the same old excuses and confusion, which was never in short supply

Off to fight the battle-weary French and Jaguares in Pumas shirts!“, He cried

Only when they had passed these barriers and came building towards the long white cloud wall,
Did the men riding the green machine realise; of building an unstoppable machine, they knew fuck all…

DO YOU THINK THE SPRINGBOKS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM WITH NR. 13 AND BEAT AUSTRALIA? TELL US IN THE COMMENTS BELOW

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Written for The Pundits by @Justus_Beets

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