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Friday, December 15, 2017
Rugby

Springbok Player Ratings: New Zealand (Read and Weep)

Springbok Player Ratings vs New Zealand
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We’re not even writing an intro for this. We all know what happened. We also made a call to allow swearing in this post, because 57-0.

Here’s our Rugby Panel’s ratings and thoughts on each Springbok player vs New Zealand.

  1. Beast Mtawarira

@Justus_Beets: 5/10 – “Was he that bad or was the chaos around him that bad?”

@Hoerboer: 6/10 – Scrums were doing just fine with him on.

@OdinKuun: 6/10 – WHY, WHY take a leader, a legend? And in the one place, we were holding our own?

  1. Malcolm Marx

@Justus_Beets: 4/10 – “Not as good as Coles, but then again also not as experienced.”

@Hoerboer: 3/10 – It’s the guy jumping in the lineout.

@OdinKuun: 3.5/10 “Revelation”, “Second best in the world”, ‘World Class” but can’t-do the thing hookers MUST do!

  1. Ruan Dreyer

@Justus_Beets: 4/10 – “Seems like Coenie’s broken arm was a blessing.”

@Hoerboer: 5/10 – Was dominating.

@OdinKuun: 3.5/10 – Nope

  1. Eben Etzebeth

@Justus_Beets: 5/10 – “Didn’t see one moment where he had any influence on the team during the game or tried to inspire them to a cult-like mass suicide post game. Otherwise, he was good.”

@Hoerboer: 4/10 – Oh captain, oh captain.

@OdinKuun: 4/10 – What could he have done? But as captain something is better than…”that.”

  1. Franco Mostert

@Justus_Beets: 4/10 – “Probably his worst game in the jersey. But he’ll be back.”

@Hoerboer: 3/10 – Sjoe Franco. Was jy daar?

@OdinKuun: 3/10 – Anonymous! And those line-outs, MSP

  1. Siya Kolisi

@Justus_Beets: 6/10 – “Tried his best, but then again, Yoda said there is no try, there is only do. He was right, there were no tries.”

@Hoerboer: 4/10 – Why didn’t you help Eben?

@OdinKuun: 6/10 – He is becoming a cult hero. Tried his utmost but wasn’t supported.

  1. JL du Preez

@Justus_Beets: 5/10 – “Another victim crawls from the rubble of hurricane 57-0.”

@Hoerboer: 2/10

@OdinKuun: 4.5/10 – How long will Kriel be out for?

  1. Uzaier Cassiem

@Justus_Beets: 4/10 – “Made some tackles, but didn’t threaten.”

@Hoerboer: 3/10

@OdinKuun: 4.5/10 – Not the answer at eighth-man

  1. Francios Hougaard

@Justus_Beets: 3/10 – “Didn’t roll up his full sleeves.”

@Hoerboer: 2/10 – 3 steps. Everytime.

@OdinKuun: 3/10 – Slow and NO!

  1. Elton Jantjies

@Justus_Beets: 0/10 – “Fuck this guy. Feeding the NZ backline like some rugby UNICEF volunteer.”

@Hoerboer: 4/10 – He saw the kicking wasn’t working

@OdinKuun: 4.5 /10 – Not kak… (Compared to the rest of the backline) but still kak!

  1. Courtnall Skosan

@Justus_Beets: 0/10 – “Apparently he didn’t make one tackle. Hahaha, how do you not even make one by accident in a game like that?”

@Hoerboer: 3/10 – Did you know he is bigger then Neha Milner-Skudder?

@OdinKuun: 4/10 –  In fairness, he had to cover Rhule’s side a few times and was then found wanting when the ball was ‘simply’ moved wide.

  1. Jan Serfontein

@Justus_Beets: 4/10 – “Was dancing ballroom without a partner.”

@Hoerboer: 4/10

@OdinKuun: 4/10 – Jan will always give his all, but his all was still only.

  1. Jessie Kriel

@Justus_Beets: 0/10 – “Fuck this guy too. As the great Judge asked, why can’t we have a 13 at 13?”

@Hoerboer: 2/10

@OdinKuun: 3/10 – Wie?

  1. Raymond Rhule

@Justus_Beets: 3.3/10 – “Missed 66.6% of his tackles but at least got into a position to fail.”

@Hoerboer: -6/10

@OdinKuun: 1/10 – If he plays for the boks again this year I might gooi n Piet van Zyl!

Oh, and he wasn’t subbed btw WTF, seriously what the actual FUCK!

  1. Andries Coetzee

@Justus_Beets: 2/10 – “Another very poor outing for Jan Blohm’s stunt double.”

@Hoerboer: 3/10

@OdinKuun: 3/10 –   He has been below average for 4 games now…
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